madgirlf
1. You will look for love in all the wrong places. In a pack of cigarettes. Underneath the tires of an airplane. In the arms of a boy who is scared of your fire. In the eyes of one who lights it. Between the pages of an encyclopedia. At the bottom of the wine bottle. In the concrete tunnels beneath your city. This is okay. It’s called trial and error for a reason. Hint: it’s a lot closer than you think.
2. When you find out who you are, your first instinct will be to fight- to rip the poetry from your veins and tear your notebooks into shreds. You will do these things and the words will still come pouring out of you. Give them a home.
3. You will kiss boys who are mean to you. You’ll even think you love a few of them and it’ll take years but when you finally leave, they’ll think they love you too. Keep walking.
4. When you get your first F in college, you will drive to your parents’ house and cry in their laps. Your grandmother will call you stupid for crying over a test and remind you that her sister is dying in the next state over. Kiss her cheek and sleep with your door open. It helps with her nightmares.
5. You will go back to someone who treated you badly and he will treat you badly again. It will not kill you. Don’t you give him that power. Your name means warrior, means fortress, means determination. Cry it out, scream from your rooftop, fill an entire notebook with curse words. Then keep going.
6. You will walk into some places and feel the weight of the world slip from your shoulders. These are called safe places. They are few and far between. Covet them.
7. You will get drunk and scream at your ex-boyfriend on your birthday. Your friends will join you. This is how you know you will never let them go.
8. You will experience moments of sublime happiness. Tiny glimpses of ecstasy. They are meteors. Bask in their light.
9. It will take you 20 years to learn to love yourself. Some days, you will forget how. On these days, call your mother. Go home and look at old pictures. Drink tea with lots of honey in it. Spend time with people who remind you who you are. Be patient with yourself. It gets easier with every passing year.
10. You will fight the good fight. And sometimes you will lose. Sometimes you’ll even think that you have no fight left. On nights like this, watch a silly movie and go to sleep. Wake up and put your gloves back on.
Fortesa Latifi - the poet talks to herself. and to you. and you. and you. (via madgirlf)

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